I met my ex when I was about 15, it was summer time. He was amazing, he treated me with so much respect and I felt like a princess! I was so happy when we finally got together on xmas eve. The first few months were perfect and then I noticed small things were different. At first it was just arguments but it got worse and soon he would push & slap me when we were arguing, but he started to be excessively jealous of my male friends (which I had a lot of), and always be asking where I'd been, he would accuse me of cheating on him all the time.
This progressed to him calling me names, finding faults, mocking me & throwing things at me. I put up with it for at least 18 months. He started to self-harm in front of me which was heartbreaking and so hard to watch someone I did love do that to themselves. I had to be so careful if I said anything when he was doing this, if I said the wrong thing I was often pushed against the wall and a knife or scissors held against my throat, while I was yelled at. There was so many incidents it's impossible to put them all into my story.
The thing that made me decide I had to get out was when he grabbed a hold of my hair and repeatedly hit my head off the wall in the bedroom, I couldn't stay with him after that, I knew it would get so much worse. So I finished and left as soon as he was asleep.
He kept ringing and begging me to get back with him saying he'd kill himself if I didn't. I stuck with my decision but kept saying I needed time and space to him hoping he would just get over it. How wrong I was!
He rang me constantly and gradually the situation got worse. He would follow me home and emotionally & verbally abused me for months. He had broke into my house breaking the doors, etc., and put me against the wall by my throat with a knife in his hand. His threats got worse saying he'd tie me up & rape me and then my mother whilst I would have to watch. It was sick and twisted. I decided to go to the police, made my statement and he was arrested a few times and released on bail with conditions of not being able to come anywhere near me until he went to court where a restraining order was given.
I am still very scared and looking over my shoulder when I'm out any where, it has affected me in a really bad way but I had to do it to free myself from him entirely. He had this horrible side but still was a remarkable person at times. I don't think I will ever get over the whole experience and will never forgive him for what he did. I know getting out is easier said than done but in the end it has turned out for the best for me.
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